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. >> hi, i'm chuck norris. [laughter] >> is he going to yell at the ottoman. >> our great country and freedom is under attack. our country as we know it may be lost forever if we don't change the course our country's headed. we can no longer sit quietly or stand on the sidelines and watch our country go the way of socialism or something much worse. >> we will pre serve for our children this last best hope of man on earth or we will take the first step into a thousand years of darkness. [laughter] [laughter] [applause] >> i may not agree with the state of the country is quite that far. [laughter] i just think they pitched the perfect premise for an often chuck norris come back. this is america and a thousand years of darkness. [laughter] as that man is 72. [laughter] chuck norris is texas ranger. [applause] democrats, democrats, how do you get caught flat-footed on the better off question. it's the most important question an incumbent has faced since ronald rake laironald reagan lay carter in 1980. are you bette
. >> hi, i'm chuck norris. [laughter] >> is he going to yell at the ottoman. >> our great country and freedom is under attack. our country as we know it may be lost forever if we don't change the course our country's headed. we can no longer sit quietly or stand on the sidelines and watch our country go the way of socialism or something much worse. >> we will pre serve for our children this last best hope of man on earth or we will take the first step into a thousand...
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Sep 4, 2012
09/12
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era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. ♪ [ chirping ] [ chirping ] ♪ [ chirping ] ♪ [ male announcer ] audi a4 drivers have spoken. [ engine revs ] and they ranked the a4 highest in total quality index in its class. [ chirps ] experience the summer of audi event before september 4th and get exceptional values on the audi you've always wanted. >>> we have to remember what the recklessness on wall street really cost us. trillions of dollars in money out of pensions. trillions of dollars in lost value in homes. millions of jobs that were lost. in other words, it was a long fall. >> that was massachusetts senate candidate elizabeth warren this morning talking about how far the economy fell four years ago. a key part of the democrats' plan to rebuild the middle class is reining in the excesses of the financial sector. according to the newly released party platform, today democrats are holding wall street accountable, bringing new transparency to financial markets and ending taxpayer funded bank bailouts in the era of too big to fail. those reforms came through the landmark
era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. ♪ [ chirping ] [ chirping ] ♪ [ chirping ] ♪ [ male announcer ] audi a4 drivers have spoken. [ engine revs ] and they ranked the a4 highest in total quality index in its class. [ chirps ] experience the summer of audi event before september 4th and get exceptional values on the audi you've always wanted. >>> we have to remember what the recklessness on wall street really cost us. trillions of dollars in money out of pensions....
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Sep 12, 2012
09/12
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era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. but i'm still stubbed up. [ male announcer ] truth is, nyquil doesn't unstuff your nose. what? [ male announcer ] alka-seltzer plus liquid gels speeds relief to your worst cold symptoms plus has a decongestant for your stuffy nose. thanks. that's the cold truth! >>> more on the controversy brewing over the foreign policy crisis that's exploded in the wake of attacks on the u.s. consulate in libya and protests in egypt. right now we're joined by ari mel ba of "the nation magazine" and jonathan capehart of "the washington post." thank you both. ari, mitt romney has attacked the president and his administration for their handling of this very fluid situation. now the president has responded. listen to this. >> there's a broader lesson to be learned here. governor romney has a tendency to shoot first and aim later. and as president, one of the things i've learned is you can't do that. that, you know, it's important for you to make sure that the statements you make are backed up by the fac
era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. but i'm still stubbed up. [ male announcer ] truth is, nyquil doesn't unstuff your nose. what? [ male announcer ] alka-seltzer plus liquid gels speeds relief to your worst cold symptoms plus has a decongestant for your stuffy nose. thanks. that's the cold truth! >>> more on the controversy brewing over the foreign policy crisis that's exploded in the wake of attacks on the u.s. consulate in libya and protests in egypt. right now...
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Sep 3, 2012
09/12
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era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. >>> my fellow americans, this is a truly great monday for this is the week that football season begins. the pros get back to work on wednesday, the college boys got a start over the weekend and america is just better when football's in season. the whole week becomes like tailgating in preparation for thrilling throws and catches. >> tenth play of the series. epd zone bound and he's got the touchdown. >> powerful runs. bone crushing hits and exciting extra point kicks. that wasn't exciting. that was lame. let's keep it real, people. extra point kicks are boring. a skinny guy lines up really close to the upright and spoiler alert, he kicks it through 99% of the time. the defense barely tries to block him. is it affirmative action for dorks? it doesn't even make sense that after you pass or run the ball into the end zone, then you have to complete an entirely different physical skill to get an added amount. where else in sport is a score ratified by completing a different skill? imagine if lebron knocked down a three-pointer and some
era, the only detergent that's chuck norris approved. >>> my fellow americans, this is a truly great monday for this is the week that football season begins. the pros get back to work on wednesday, the college boys got a start over the weekend and america is just better when football's in season. the whole week becomes like tailgating in preparation for thrilling throws and catches. >> tenth play of the series. epd zone bound and he's got the touchdown. >> powerful runs....
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Sep 8, 2012
09/12
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CURRENT
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but first karl rove rides a segue with jimmy fallon speaks at a convention and chuck norris makes clinton eastwood look reasonable. when it doesn't fit anywhere else we put it in the viewfinder viewfinder. >> karl rove are going to segue into charlotte. >> spoiler alert. the democrats will nominate barack obama. >> it's with much love and pride that i present to you my best friend, my twin brother san antonio mayor julian castro. >> i stand before you tonight as a proud democrat. a proud latino. and a proud citizen of these united states. >> my favorite job was having a boss who gave the order to take out bin laden and whose cool is all of us getting gay married. so thank you invisible man in the chair for that. >> what do you say to people if you just--you know, i know people-- >> do you think that president obama doesn't love this country? >> i think he's more about a global being global, um, what's the word-- >> you're absolutely crazy. >> i just don't believe that he loves america the way that we do. i mean-- >> we who? >> he's more about one world. >> what does that mean? >> i just e
but first karl rove rides a segue with jimmy fallon speaks at a convention and chuck norris makes clinton eastwood look reasonable. when it doesn't fit anywhere else we put it in the viewfinder viewfinder. >> karl rove are going to segue into charlotte. >> spoiler alert. the democrats will nominate barack obama. >> it's with much love and pride that i present to you my best friend, my twin brother san antonio mayor julian castro. >> i stand before you tonight as a proud...
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Sep 7, 2012
09/12
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joining us now is actor and so much more, chuck norris. how's our studio looking? >> it's great. ♪ [ acoustic guitar: upbeat ] [ dog ] we found it together. on a walk, walk, walk. love to walk. yeah, we found that wonderful thing. and you smiled. and threw it. and i decided i would never, ever leave it anywhere. because that wonderful, bouncy, roll-around thing... had made you play. and that... had made you smile. [ announcer ] beneful. play. it's good for you. when you lost the thing you can't believe you lost.. when what you just bought, just broke. or when you have a little trouble a long way from home... as an american express cardmember you can expect some help. but what you might not expect, is you can get all this with a prepaid card. spends like cash. feels like membership. >>> from touching our hearts to our funny bones. here are today's top lines. the week in review. >> to the republic for which it stands. >> i'm no longer just candidate, i'm the president. >> there's a little gathering going on in charlotte. >> i wish the president had succeeded becaus
joining us now is actor and so much more, chuck norris. how's our studio looking? >> it's great. ♪ [ acoustic guitar: upbeat ] [ dog ] we found it together. on a walk, walk, walk. love to walk. yeah, we found that wonderful thing. and you smiled. and threw it. and i decided i would never, ever leave it anywhere. because that wonderful, bouncy, roll-around thing... had made you play. and that... had made you smile. [ announcer ] beneful. play. it's good for you. when you lost the thing...
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Sep 12, 2012
09/12
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huckabee -- >> eliot: poor chuck norris without a script. he's nothing. if you have an opinion, you better back it up. >>eliot spitzer takes on politics. >>science and republicans do not mix. >>now it's your turn at the only online forum with a direct line to eliot spitzer. >>join the debate now. i look at her, and i just want to give her everything. yeah you -- you know, everything can cost upwards of...[ whistles ] i did not want to think about that. relax, relax, relax. look at me, look at me. three words, dad -- e-trade financial consultants. so i can just go talk to 'em? just walk right in and talk to 'em. dude those guys are pros. they'll hook you up with a solid plan. they'll -- wa-- wa-- wait a minute. bobby? bobby! what are you doing, man? i'm speed dating! [ male announcer ] get investing advice for your family at e-trade. >> eliot: no means no for republican representative todd akin of missouri who continues to ignore a torrent of calls from top leaders in his own party to drop his senate bid after he contended nearly a month ago that legitimat
huckabee -- >> eliot: poor chuck norris without a script. he's nothing. if you have an opinion, you better back it up. >>eliot spitzer takes on politics. >>science and republicans do not mix. >>now it's your turn at the only online forum with a direct line to eliot spitzer. >>join the debate now. i look at her, and i just want to give her everything. yeah you -- you know, everything can cost upwards of...[ whistles ] i did not want to think about that. relax,...
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Sep 28, 2012
09/12
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what they started doing was they took the old chuck norris things and started applying them to him. >> good little lines. >> yorgeoriginally it was great. >> maybe it spoke to my republican brain, i love it, dos equ equis. >> can we figure out if we can drink on the air? >> yes, wem. >> don't open that now that you have just shaken it. >> i'm opening it. >> whoo! >> cheers to the debates. >> enjoy, all. i'm left out as usual. >> the wide mouth. >> to the liberal elite. and the media. >> i'm going to finish this by -- who is doing the rant today? >> i am. >> i'm going to be -- >> we're just going to chug while toure is ranting. enough, enough. what in the world does the nfl referee strike has to do with prince's song "if i was your girlfriend"? only toure has made that particular connection. [ "the odd couple" theme playing ] humans. even when we cross our "t"s and dot our "i"s, we still run into problems -- mainly other humans. at liberty mutual insurance, we understand. that's why our auto policies come with accident forgiveness if you qualify, where your rates won't go up due to you
what they started doing was they took the old chuck norris things and started applying them to him. >> good little lines. >> yorgeoriginally it was great. >> maybe it spoke to my republican brain, i love it, dos equ equis. >> can we figure out if we can drink on the air? >> yes, wem. >> don't open that now that you have just shaken it. >> i'm opening it. >> whoo! >> cheers to the debates. >> enjoy, all. i'm left out as usual. >>...